Unnatural Mother

I love my kids so much.

This may not sound like such a surprising thing until you know that I can’t stand kids.

When my daughters were 3 and 1, they were noisy, unattractive, demanding, time-consuming little people and it took everything I had in me not to smack their little heads together and run away from home. Their sticky hugs and kisses, which most mothers seem to find so endearing, set my teeth on edge. I had to force myself to be demonstrative and affectionate when I really felt exasperated and even repelled.

Thankfully, as they get older, the feeling is passing into respect and genuine “like” for the people they are becoming and I now know that I am capable of lying well enough to this new “bundle of joy” that he will never suspect (until he stumbles on this blog) what an absolutely unnatural mother I am. My secret is out to my eldest daughter though. She is thirteen now and sees everything. I was on the living room couch cuddling the baby and crooning nonsense at him while he drank his bottle when she came in, watched for a minute and said, “you don’t like babies much, huh mom?”.



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